Saturday, March 29, 2008

Parents Universal Reource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Suicide - Communication with your kids today



As you have probably heard before, talking to your teen about suicide is one of the most important things you can do in helping to prevent a suicide attempt. Many times parents are unsure of what to say and instead say nothing. Here are some suggestions of how you can open the channels of communication and help your teen open up.


First, tell your teen you care; no matter the state of your relationship, just hearing this can go a long way. Tell your teen you are there if needed, and are willing to listen without judging. NAMI estimates that around 80% of all teens who attempt suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal warning beforehand, so be sure to take whatever your teen says completely seriously.
A common mistake parents make when dealing with a suicidal teen is thinking that if they mention suicide they will be planting the idea in their teen’s brain.


This is simply not accurate. In fact, by mentioning your fears, you are showing your teen that you take their actions and their life seriously. Remember, most people who are suicidal do not really want to die- they want to put an end to the suffering they are experiencing. When given an opportunity to be helped through that suffering, or when some of that suffering is alleviated by knowing they aren’t alone, this can help reduce the desire to end the pain by more drastic means.


More information on Teen Suicide.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Early Dating, Early Sexual Activities




First Comes Love
Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?


These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together...


First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Sue Scheff - Summer is Almost Here!


Are you strugging with your teen or pre-teen? Are they good kids, starting to make some bad choices?


Summer is almost here and summer programs are filling up fast. With many teens a good positive summer experience can help build their self esteem and help motivate them academically.


There are many great summer camps - http://www.campfinders.com/ is one service that has helped hundreds of families for many years.


For more information contact Parents Universal Resource Experts.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Learning More about Teen Runaways


Taking Action: Get Educated Scary Statistics

21% of runaways are victims of domestic physical or sexual abuse at home prior to running away, or are afraid a return home would result in abuse.

19% of runaways are/were dependant on at least one substance.

18% of runaways are 13 years or older.

18% of runaways end up in the company of someone known to be abusing drugs.

17% of runaways end up using hard drugs.

12% of runaways spend time in a place where criminal activity is known to occur.

11% of teens participate in criminal activity while on the run.

4% of runaway teens have attempted suicide previous to running away.

4% of runaways are physically assaulted or the subject of an attempted assault while on the run.

The Power of Knowledge: Work to Be a Better Parent
Even the best parents can use skill training. Continue to improve your skills both as a communicator and a parent, as well as the problems facing teenagers today. Join your family through problem-solving skills to avoid conflict.

Evaluate yourself. Do your bad habits seem to rub off on your teen? Get healthy!
Develop a crisis intervention plan for your teen if the situation causing thoughts of running away involves a crisis or recurrent crisis.
Consider seeking professional help for your teen if he/she seems out of control, including self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or violent behavior. Emotional problems associated with anger, sadness or despair are very serious and should be dealt with accordingly.

Evaluate any use of alcohol or drugs by your teen immediately. Seek professional help if you think he/she may have an addiction problem.

Consider attending classes or educational workshops yourself to improve on your parenting skills. Even the very best parents can use support! Your city may offer training in communication and interpersonal skills that can offer help for dealing with divorce, anger, violent behavior, and conflict resolution.

Develop a plan throughout the family for conducting argumentative communication calmly and respectfully. Doing so will promote communication rather than argument.
Find out more about Teen Runaways.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sue Scheff: The Reality of Teen Pregancy


Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.

1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year! Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.

Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems. They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.

The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.


Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Sue Scheff: Troubled Teens, Struggling Teens, At Risk Teens, Problem Teens


Do any of these labels sound familiar?


•Truancy (Excessive Absences)

•Multiple Suspension/Detentions•Expulsion •Academic Failure/Grades Dropping - Underachiever

•Social Withdrawal – Isolating themselves

•Poor Decision Making

•Peer Relationship Problems; Fights; Arguments

•Choosing the Wrong Peer Group

•Defiant/Anger/Violent/Rage/Rebellious – Conduct Disorder

•Confrontational Behavior/Acting Out

•Refusal to accept Accountability for their Actions

•Depression/Bipolar/Oppositional Defiance Disorder

•Involvement in Cult Activities – Gang Activity
Does any of the above sound familiar?
If so it may be time to start searching for healthy and safe alternative schools or programs. Whether they are local or out of the area, after conferring with a school guidance counselor or therapist, you may determine that a different academic setting may benefit your child. Absences and Suspension Rates (or Incident reports) are useful indicators of student academic or behavioral problems. Most truancy and incident rates increase with grade levels.
Another words, this will most likely escalate rather than go away if not addressed. We always recommend parents to seek local adolescent therapy* prior to residential placement. Incidents rates are on the rise and school expulsion have increased, nearly doubled in the High Schools within the past three years. The zero tolerance rates may be attributed to this rise in numbers, however it is a clear indication that some teens are truly struggling and need outside help.


This is has to do with many factors:


• Population Increase, which leads to overcrowding in the schools

• Lack of ACCEPTANCE of our Cultural Diversity

• Family Conflicts – Marital Issues (Divorce, Separation, etc.)

• Stress and Anger Management Problems

• Lack of Communication and the skills to communicate with Today's Teens.

• Ineffective or Inconsistence Parenting/Discipline Strategies

• Substance Abuse (Drugs and/or Alcohol)• Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities – ADD/ADHD/LD

• Zero Tolerance Level at Schools

• LACK OF AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY RESOURCES & SERVICES






Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sue Scheff: Homework Stress by Connect with Kids


“Personally, when I have homework in class, I dread going to class that day. One, to turn in the homework, and two, to review the homework.”

– Paige, 16

It’s a familiar refrain from kids: there’s too much homework, too much reading, too many math problems to solve! But is homework really out of control?

Kate, 16, averages 2 ½ hours of homework a night -- sometimes even more.

“I’d say the most -- maybe three or four hours. It’s definitely on overload,” says Kate.

Are kids overloaded? According to a new survey commissioned by MetLife Insurance, the answer depends on whom you ask. The survey shows that 85 percent of parents say their kids are doing the “right amount” or “too little” homework each night. But 90 percent of kids say they’re stressed out about homework.

“It’s a little hard because I do sports and so it’s kind of hard to balance all of that,” says Jasmyn, 15.

“Personally, when I have homework in class, I dread going to class that day. One, to turn in the homework and two, to review the homework. If I listen in class and take good notes, I usually do well on tests and quizzes, so I don’t think [homework] is reinforcement. If anything, it just makes me kind of dread going to that class,” says Paige, 16.

“It makes me hate school,” says Matt, 16.

“If kids see it as something that is pointless, tedious and even anxiety-producing, of course it’s not going to benefit them,” says Alfie Kohn, education speaker and author of 11 books, including What to Look for in a Classroom.

Some experts say the problem isn’t too much homework -- it’s homework that is too difficult.

“Homework can be overload if the child is simply frustrated. It isn’t that they have too much homework, it’s that they have homework they don’t understand that’s taking them too long to do because of that,” says Frank Pajares, Ph. D.

“You can’t have … a child achieving well academically who is highly anxious. If homework is bringing that, then I think homework is defeating the ultimate purpose, which is for the child to be achieving well,” says Jennifer Obidah, Ph.D., psychologist.

Kate has one good thing to say about homework: it teaches her how to manage her time, which will come in handy in college.

“It kind of prepares you for when you’re not going to have parents sitting there saying, ‘Okay, you need to get going with your math or get going with your history homework.’ It pays off,” says Kate.

Tips for Parents


There are several things you can do to make homework less work. First, create a Homework Plan:


First, be sure you understand the assignment. Write it down in your notebook or day planner if you need to, and don't be afraid to ask questions about what's expected. It's much easier to take a minute to ask the teacher during or after class than to struggle to remember later that night.
Second, use any extra time you have in school to work on your homework. Many schools have study halls that are specifically designed to allow students to study or get homework done. The more work you can get done in school, the less you'll have to do that night.


Third, pace yourself. If you don't finish your homework during school, think about how much you have left and what else is going on that day, and then budget your time. It's a good idea to come up with some kind of homework schedule, especially if you are involved in sports or activities or have an after-school job.


A bedroom, office, or any other room where you can get away from noise and distractions is the best place to get homework done. But don't study on your comfy bed; opt for a desk or table that is comfortable and allows you to set up your computer. (Nemours Foundation)


When you start your homework, tackle the hardest assignments first. It's tempting to start with the easy stuff to get it out of the way, but you'll have the most energy and focus when you begin, so it's best to use this mental power on the subjects that are most challenging. (Nemours Foundation)


Most people's attention spans aren't very long, so take some breaks while doing your homework. Sitting for too long without stretching or relaxing will make you less productive than if you stop every so often. Taking a 15-minute break every hour is a good idea for most people. (Nemours Foundation)


References


Nemours Foundation

Friday, March 7, 2008

Sue Scheff: Helping Prevent Teen Drug and Alcohol Addication


A generation ago, with the idea to prevent drug addition for future generations, former first lady Nancy Reagan launched her famous anti-drug campaign with the slogan, “just say no to drugs.” Sadly, addiction and drugs still plague our children despite the best efforts of educators and parents. The benefits of drug prevention are real but our approach to prevention has not been successful.


Now, drug and alcohol prevention research is available from Dr. John Fleming in the book Preventing Addiction. In this first-of-its-kind book, Dr. Fleming introduces real ideas to prevent drug use and alcohol consumption in our children based on medical science and on Dr. Fleming’s personal experience as a parent of four grown children. He helps to fully explain the phenomenon of addiction and shows parents the best new ways to raise and train children to avoid drug and alcohol addiction.


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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Sue Scheff: Coping with Bullies


Invisible Weapon - by Connect with Kids


Adults may think children bullies are just a part of growing up, but what if it was your kids saying things like this about bullying at school:


"I had nowhere to go, no one to tell. I thought I was fat and stupid and no one wanted be around me.” - Sarah


“They called me four-eyes, homo…until I started to believe it.” - Alex


“I was scared all the time to go to school.” - Jay


Invisible Weapons is a moving half-hour video that’s ideal for parents and children to watch and learn together. Painful, true stories show how kids are taunted and teased by children bullies, harassed and excluded, and how bullying at school made them victims of nasty rumors and gossip.


It’s More Than Just Bullying at School


Bullies and “mean girls” leave wounds that often go deeper than broken bones and bloody noses. You’ll hear from victims as they tell how bullying at school affected their grades, their self-confidence and their relationships. Listen as children bullies themselves share their stories and regrets. “Maybe I thought making fun of Sarah was cool,” says Ashley, “or that it would make me have more friends.”


There are ways to stop this kind of emotional pain. Hear what experts have to say by ordering Invisible Weapons to learn what you can do about children bullies.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Sue Scheff: Early Dating/Early Sexual Activity


First Comes Love


Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?


These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together... First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”


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Connect with Kids is a wealth of information for parents. I refer parents to them daily and I am always impressed with their valuable new weekly parenting articles and DVD’s. In today’s world of teenagers - parents need to be a step ahead!