Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sue Scheff: The Alliance for Consumer Education


The Alliance for Consumer Education is eight years old today! Founded in 2000, ACE has achieved many goals and provided information on inhalant abuse to countless parents and educators. Have you checked out inhalant.org, or our Message Board? You can read the questions that others have or post one yourself.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Norms are not Normal

By Connect with Kids

“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah … you’re gonna believe that.”

– Ryan Hentz, 18

What do teens think other teens are doing on a Friday night?

“If you want to be cool, you have to drink and go out … ,” says Leah Conover, 18.

“Partying, having sex … weed, smoking, stuff like that,” 17-year-old Latricia Smith adds.

Tad Kulanko, 18, agrees: “Drinking or all smoking pot; doing drugs all the time.”

Experts say that idea – that everyone is doing it – can be a powerful, self-fulfilling prophecy.

“Teenagers are often trying to find themselves. They want to fit in [and] they want to be part of the crowd,” says Dr. Sherry Blake, a psychologist.

“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah, it’s gonna be implanted in your head and you’re gonna believe that,” says Ryan Hentz, 18.

But the stereotype is a myth, according to a movement called “social norming.” This movement’s message is that what’s “normal” for most teens isn’t getting drunk or high, having sex, getting pregnant or vandalizing property.

“The adolescent will realize that, ‘I have choices, and guess what, everybody is not doing this and I don’t have to be drunk or I don’t have to be high to be cool,’” Dr. Blake says.

“Social norming” has caught on at about 40 college campuses nationwide. But experts say parents can use the same concept with their own children well before college age.

Blake says to let them know that “there are a lot of teenagers doing positive things … the norm is not where we have to go out and party and drink.”

Tips for Parents

‘Social Norming’ Latest Trend to Curb Risk-taking

For years, study after study has focused on the number of teens who take negative health risks like smoking, drinking alcohol and abusing drugs. These widespread statistics lead the public to believe that bad behavior among today’s youth is at an all-time high, yet the opposite seems to be the case.

Consider these statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey:

About 56.7% of high school students said they had not consumed an alcoholic beverage within the past 30 days.

An estimated 90.1% had not driven a car while under the influence of alcohol within the past 30 days.

Only 13.4% of students had smoked one cigarette a day for the last 30 days.

Nearly 61.6% have never tried marijuana.

About 87.6% have never sniffed glue, breathed the contents of aerosol spray cans or inhaled any paints to get high.

An estimated 96% have never taken steroids with or without a doctor’s prescription.

Several colleges are now finding that if the general impression is that most kids don’t drink alcohol, then those who do drink will drink less, and fewer will start drinking in the first place.

This philosophy to curb unhealthy habits, called “social norming,” is also catching on in high schools and middle schools across the country. Officials hope that as they promote the general good health of students, more parents and teens will recognize that taking less health risks is now the “norm.”

While you can’t protect your child or teen from taking a bad health risk, you can become a strong and positive influence in his or her life. The National PTA offers these tips for staying involved in your child’s life so that you can minimize the risks he or she takes:

Keep the lines of communication open. You need to have regular conversations with your teen and supply him or her with honest and accurate information on the many issues he or she faces. Start important discussions with your teen – about smoking, drugs, sex or drinking – even if the topics are difficult or embarrassing. Don’t wait for your teen to come to you.

Set fair and consistent rules. You need to set boundaries that help your teen learn that with his or her new independence comes responsibility. You and your child can work together to set appropriate limits. Be sure that your child understands the purpose behind the rules.

Support your child’s future. Even if you don’t feel you can help with homework, you need to demonstrate that education is important to you and your child’s future. It’s important to you’re your child’s teachers and to create a home environment that supports learning.

Be an example. You need to demonstrate appropriate behaviors. Show concern for and be involved in the community and at school. Maintain regularly scheduled family time to share mutual interests, such as attending movies, concerts, sporting events, plays or museum exhibits. Your teen will often “do as you do,” so don’t take negative health risks, such as drinking or smoking.

If your adolescent does cross the boundaries you have set in order to take a negative health risk, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests you keep in mind the following points about discipline:

Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.

Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.

Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or disrespect.

Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.

Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.

Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.

Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.

References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National PTA

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sue Scheff: Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD




Seven parenting strategies guaranteed to improve the behavior of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).


The fundamentals of behavior therapy are easy to understand and implement, even without the help of a therapist. Have you ever given your child a time-out for talking back — or a “heads-up” before taking him someplace that is likely to challenge his self-control? Then you already have a sense of how behavior therapy works.


“A lot of behavior modification is just common-sense parenting,” says William Pelham, Jr., Ph.D., director of the Center for Children and Families at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “The problem is that none of us were trained how to be good parents, and none of us expected to have children who needed parents with great parenting skills and patience.”


The basic idea is to set specific rules governing your child’s behavior (nothing vague or too broad), and to enforce your rules consistently, with positive consequences for following them and negative consequences for infractions. Dr. Pelham suggests these seven strategies:1. Make sure your child understands the rules.


Telling a child to “do this” or to “avoid doing that” is not enough. To ensure that your child knows the rules cold, create lists and post them around the house. For example, you might draw up a list detailing the specific things your child must do to get ready for school.Make sure the rules are worded clearly. Go over the rules to make sure he understands, and review them as necessary. Stick with the routines until your child has them down.
Click here for more: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1563.html

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Safeguarding Teenage Drivers with ADD




Young motorists with ADD need to be extra careful on the road.


Here's how they can drive safely.


Motorists with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) - especially teens - need to be extra careful on the road.


Here's how to help them minimize distractions and stay safe.


Pick a safe car. Larger cars offer greater protection in the event of an accident.


Help your teen with ADD learn to drive. Practice sessions should cover a variety of situations.Ask that he drive with an adult for at least his first 500 miles behind the wheel.


Don't let your teen drive at night.


Most fatal crashes involving young drivers occur between 9 p.m. and midnight.


Don't let your teenager chauffeur other teens.


Remind your teen that he must wear a seat belt at all times ...and that he must never drive after drinking or using drugs.


For more on keeping teenagers safe behind the wheel, see AD/HD & Driving: A Guide for Parents of Teens with AD/HD, by J. Marlene Snyder, Ph.D. (Whitefish Consultants, 2001).

Monday, May 26, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Why Kids and Teens Steal




Kids of all ages - from preschoolers to teens - can be tempted to steal for different reasons:


Very young children sometimes take things they want without understanding that things cost money and that it's wrong to take something without paying for it.


Elementary school children usually know they're not supposed to take something without paying, but they may take it anyway because they lack enough self-control.


Preteens and teens know they're not supposed to steal, but they may steal for the thrill of it or because their friends are doing it. Some might believe they can get away with it.


As they're given more control over their lives, some teens may steal as a way of rebelling.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

Sue Scheff: Preventing Addiction by Dr. John C. Fleming



Drug and Alcohol Prevention Research


A generation ago, with the idea to prevent drug addition for future generations, former first lady Nancy Reagan launched her famous anti-drug campaign with the slogan, "just say no to drugs." Sadly, addiction and drugs still plague our children despite the best efforts of educators and parents. The benefits of drug prevention are real but our approach to prevention has not been successful.


Now, drug and alcohol prevention research is available from Dr. John Fleming in the book Preventing Addiction. In this first-of-its-kind book, Dr. Fleming introduces real ideas to prevent drug use and alcohol consumption in our children based on medical science and on Dr. Fleming's personal experience as a parent of four grown children. He helps to fully explain the phenomenon of addiction and shows parents the best new ways to raise and train children to avoid drug and alcohol addiction.

Read more about preventing addiction and order this book at http://www.johncflemingmd.com/

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teen Career Angst by Connect with Kids


By Connect with Kids

“I want to be at the top of the pile, and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”

– Michael, 14

There’s growing evidence that kids today are more worried about their future than previous generations. And that anxiety is occurring in younger and younger children. How can this type of anxiety impact your child?

Whether they’re involved in sports, clubs or academics, kids today are quickly learning that competition is a part of life.

“I think there is more competition these days to go to the best college, to make the best SAT scores, and it’s like everybody is trying to be the best,” 14-year-old Connie says.

Even at the tender ages of 12, 13 and 14, adolescents begin to worry about the future – “Where will I go to college?” “What kind of career will I choose?” “How much money will I make?” It’s a new kind of teenage angst.

Thirteen-year-old Trey feels the pressure every day.

“I set my standards very high and when I don’t achieve my goal, I feel very bad,” he says.

Michael, 14, pushes himself, too.

“You want to be better than everybody else. I know I do. I want to be at the top of the pile and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”

The National Association of School Psychologists estimates that career-related anxieties among teens have increased about 20% in the past decade. Experts say striving for success is great, but they also warn that if it becomes an obsession, it can be unhealthy for kids.

“They become anxious [and] jittery. They become worriers,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist. “They turn to drugs or alcohol as external ways to calm themselves down.“

Experts say that parents need to help kids put success into perspective and teach them how to pace themselves.

“[It’s important to] emphasize the moment as opposed to where we are going to be in five years, where we’re going to be in 10 years or what are we achieving,” says Dr. Alexandra Phipps, a psychologist.

But more than anything, parents need to help their children recognize the importance of “just being a kid.”

Says Connie: “Sometimes, I feel like I have so much stress on me. And I feel like at this age, I should be enjoying myself, but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enjoying life as I should be.”

Tips for Parents


The recent barrage of layoffs and economic turmoil of the past year is not only taking it’s toll on the working class but it is also affecting children – even those in middle school – as they begin to worry about their financial future. According to the National Association of School Psychologists, career-related anxiety among children has increased approximately 15-20% in the past decade. Even affluent, academic achievers are finding themselves buckling under enormous amounts of pressure as they witness the world of work become a place of fierce competition.

This trend of children’s early anxiety over financial well-being is further evidenced by a 2007 Charles Schwab “Teens & Money” survey. The survey of 1,000 U.S. teens in aged 13-18 revealed the following statistics:

Despite their optimistic longer-term earnings expectations, 62% say they’re concerned about being able to support themselves after high school.
49% say they’re concerned their parents/guardians will not be able to support them financially if they attend college.
One in four (25%) say they sometimes feel guilty for being a financial burden to their parents (among teens 16-18, 31% say this).
More than half (56%) are concerned about their parents’/guardians’ financial well-being.
Is it harmful for children and adolescents to be worried about competition and financial success at such an early age? Competition is generally good for children, according to the National Network for Child Care. Whether children are competing for a spot on the volleyball team or a chance to win an academic scholarship, the experience helps them gain insights about their physical and intellectual skills and limitations. Competitions also enable children to learn teamwork, identify personal goals, develop criteria for success and motivate them to increase their efforts to attain the goals they desire. But if your child begins to develop a “winning-is-everything” attitude, parental intervention may be necessary.

If your adolescent seems preoccupied by future financial insecurity, you can take several steps to ease their angst. The experts at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism suggest you start by using these tips to guide your child when dealing with the issue of careers:

Encourage your child to explore his or her options. Be supportive by asking your child, “Can I help you get connected?” or “Can I help you with researching a career?”
You need to remember this is not your career decision. Have trust in your child and be supportive, yet informative.
The world of work has changed since many parents made their first career choice. So some parents need to realize some of their information might be outdated.
Direct your child to resources where he or she can research his or her desired career.
If your child comes to you with career and financial concerns, the best action you can take is to listen, according to the National PTA. Engaging in open communication with your child and sharing your own experiences and frustrations will help to ease your child’s anxiety. If your adolescent appears highly stressed about the future, you need to take the necessary steps to reduce that amount of stress before it can damage your child’s physical health. The American Academy of Family Physicians cites these signs and symptoms that indicate your child may be experiencing too much stress and anxiety:

Feeling depressed, edgy, guilty or tired
Having headaches, stomachaches or trouble sleeping
Laughing or crying for no reason
Blaming other people for bad things that happen
Only seeing the down side of a situation
Resenting other people or personal responsibilities
The National PTA says that you can help your adolescent learn to keep his or her anxiety at a minimal level by teaching him or her the following skills:

Limit or expand the number of your activities and responsibilities based on your capabilities. Preteens and teens should have challenges without becoming overwhelmed.
Avoid unnecessary worry. Thinking about a problem in order to arrive at a solution can be positive, but constant and unconstructive worry doesn’t accomplish anything. It usually just makes situations more stressful.
Become better organized. Plan activities and goals a step at a time so that parts are accomplished. This gives you more self-esteem and more reasonable deadlines.
Practice ways to reduce stress, such as aerobic exercise, proper nutrition, yoga, meditation, deep breathing, relaxation exercises, sleep, massage, taking a whirlpool or sauna bath and by having FUN.
References
American Academy of Family Physicians
National Association of School Psychologists
National Network for Child Care
National PTA
Northwestern University

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Your Child's Strengths by Jenifer Fox M.ED


By Jenifer Fox M.ED


One of the most important goals of the Strengths Movement is to equip parents with the tools they need to help children discover and leverage their strengths. As this site continues to grow and evolve, we will continue to add resources. If you know of a good resource which is not listed here, let us know and we will add it.


Learn More Click Here.
**************
As a parent advocate, this book and websites offer tremendous educational information for parents to help them with their child's strengths.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sue Scheff: Deliberate Misuse of Inhaler found in 1/4 of Teens

We've had a few questions on the inhalant.org message board in the past months about teens potentially using their asthma medication to get high. One poster's friend had a daughter whose inhaler recently needed to be refilled every week when it normally was only refilled every two or three months. Another's stepson was misusing his asthma medication and "has been eating this pills as if they are M&Ms!"

The University of Michigan News Service featured an article about a new study looking at the prevalence of inhaler abuse in teenagers. The study in question was performed by researchers at the U of M using 723 adolescents in thirty-two treatment facilities.

The study reports that "nearly one out of four teens who use an asthma inhaler say their intent is to get high".The lead author of the study, Brian Perron, declared that their findings "indicate that inhaler misuse for the purposes of becoming intoxicated is both widespread and may justifiably be regarded as a form of substance abuse in many cases."

The study also found that teens that abuse inhalers are more likely to abuse other drugs as well as have higher levels of distress. They were also more "prone to suicidal thoughts and attempts than youths who did not misuse their inhalers to get high."

From a survey of the study participants, "about 27 percent of youths who had been prescribed an inhaler used it excessively. In addition, one-third of all youths in the sample had used an asthma inhaler without a prescription."

So why would teens abuse their inhalers? What are the effects? The inhaler abusers said that they experienced positive feelings of euphoria, relaxation, and an increase in confidence.The negative effects were "feeling more dizzy, headaches, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, irritability, and confusion."

The most common misusers of their asthma inhalers were females and Caucasians.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - (Sue Scheff) Silencing Skeptics: The Truth About ADHD




Parents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.


I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.


As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Love Our Children USA


Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8 million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day 1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators.



I was on The Rachael Ray Show with Kysten Moore who is a spokesperson for Love Our Children USA as well as Miss Teen New Jersey International 2007. Krysten is a mentor for so many kids out there that are being cyber harassed and more. I was in awe of her maturity and the inspiration she gives to many.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Depression


Teenage depression is more than just bad moods or broken hearts; it is a very serious clinical illness that will affect approximately 20% of teens before they reach adulthood. Left untreated, depression can lead to difficult home situations, problems at school, drug abuse, and worse, violence toward themselves and others.

Learn More, click here.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sue Scheff - Connect with Kids

Your Resource for the Latest Research-Based Parenting Tips, Teacher Information and News About Kids

At Connect with Kids, our single aim is to help parents and educators help children. Each week we gather the freshest information from experts at universities, research organizations, hospitals, child advocacy groups and parents and kids themselves. We present that information in video news and feature stories that are understandable, compelling and useful.

Our award winning programming is broadcast in many of the major cities in America on local ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox television stations. We develop multi-media curricula, parenting resources, and teacher training for school systems all over the nation. We cover virtually all of the critical issues effecting children today, from obesity, anorexia, and body image to cutting, drug use, and bullying. Our programs are powerful, well researched, and solution-oriented. But most importantly, research shows that Connect with Kids programs work. When adults and children watch together, communication, attitudes and behavior improves.

So, if you're looking for parenting tips and insights into parenting skills, you’ve come to the right place. If you are a teacher or educator, you’ve got new access to curricula that can help you teach and mold adolescents and teenagers.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Alliance for Consumer Education - Inhalant Abuse Prevention



Welcome to the Alliance for Consumer Education's (ACE) inhalant abuse prevention site! ACE is a foundation dedicated to advancing community health and well-being.


Did you know 1 in 5 children will abuse inhalants by the 8th grade? Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of fumes, vapors or gases from common household products for the purpose of "getting high".


This site is designed to assist you in learning more about inhalant abuse prevention and giving you tools to help raise the awareness of others. While here be sure to check out our free printable resources, post any comments or questions on ACE’s community message board, and visit our new blog by visiting http://www.inhalant.org/.



Saturday, May 10, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - WireSafety.org



WiredSafety provides help, information and education to Internet and mobile device users of all ages. We help victims of cyberabuse ranging from online fraud, cyberstalking and child safety, to hacking and malicious code attacks. We also help parents with issues, such as MySpace and cyberbullying. More about us...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Parents Uniersal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teens Lying, Cheating, Stealing

By Connect with Kids

When Nobody's Looking

In When Nobody's Looking, the latest research shows that cheating is at an all time high. Seven out of 10 students admit to cheating in school and sports - and more than half of them believe it is acceptable. Nine of out 10 students say they lie to their parents, and nearly 50 percent of shoplifters are adolescents.

How can you help children become more ethical, truthful and responsible? Watch When Nobody's Looking, and listen to the true stories in the program. It’s a perfect way to begin a conversation about your own values and expectations... to understand your children’s fears, the pressure they feel, their worries about college, scholarships, homework. You’ll also get the latest advice from interviews with child experts and educators, and important information from the free Program Viewing Guide.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Bystanders Learning to Stand up to Bullying





Research says almost one-third of today’s teens are either bullies or victims of bullying. Bullies typically attack kids who are different in some way, kids who may be overweight …or smart …or poor … or talented…or don’t wear the ‘right’ clothes. But those who witness bullying are afraid too – 88 percent of teens say or do nothing – afraid they will become victims if they try to stop it.


How can we modify the behavior of this silent majority – those who witness bullying in school hallways, the lunchroom, locker rooms, playgrounds, school buses and neighborhoods? In Silent Witness, experts say that together these silent witnesses have the power to be the “tipping point” and can change the climate of bullying in American schools. They may be the most powerful weapon of all.


Watch Silent Witness to help start a conversation about how to stand up -- for yourself, your children, your students and others. Appropriate for the classroom and at home.


Learn about the power bystanders have to stop bullying, the difference between tattling and reporting, and how “telling” not only protects victims, but also could protect a witness from becoming a victim.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Sue Scheff: Rebellious Teenagers - Disrespect, Violence and Unruly Behavior




You see them everywhere you go – rebellious teenagers whose attitudes, language and behaviors are disrespectful and inappropriate. Is it an unavoidable part of growing up or a more serious sign of a truly angry kid?


More than 80 percent of teachers surveyed said students today are, in fact, more disrespectful than ever before – talking back, cheating, bullying, cursing. Is this the most uncivil generation in history? And if so, are they learning it from adults, the media, our fast-paced culture? Where do we draw the line when it comes to rebellious teenagers?


Personal Insights on what drives an angry kid


In Civil Wars, you’ll hear from rebellious teenagers whose bad behavior had them on the verge of getting kicked out of school… and how they turned their lives around. You’ll see entire schools that have eliminated bullying and violence and learn why they believe having well-mannered, civil kids is so important.


This is not a subject kids like to talk about with adults, but once they hear each angry kid in Civil Wars tell their stories, they’ll open up so that the entire family comes away with a whole new perspective.


Order now to get your own insights into the lives of rebellious teenagers. You'll learn how to deal with an angry kid.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Building Social Skills for ADHD Children


Role-playing strategies to help your child get along with others—even bullies
Making eye contact. Not interrupting. Taking turns. If your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) needs help with these and other social skills, you may want to give “role-playing” a try. By testing out various personas, he can see how simple changes in what he says and does can help him get along better with friends and family members.

Role-playing works with almost any child who is old enough to talk. It’s especially good for teaching children how to deal with teasing — a problem familiar to many kids with ADHD.

Consider the case of Joe B., a nine-year-old I recently treated. Joe’s parents sought my help because he kept overreacting to playful (but sometimes hurtful) verbal banter that came his way during recess. On one such occasion, after Joe did something silly, a playmate laughed at him and called him a “turkey head.” Enraged, Joe shoved the boy and burst into tears. He looked like a crybaby.

Joe acknowledged shoving the other boy, but said to me, “He started it.” Joe felt it was the other boy who needed to change. I explained to Joe that he couldn’t always control what other people did, but that he always had a choice about how to react. “You’re the boss of yourself,” I told him.

Talking things over made Joe feel better, and I decided that role-playing might help Joe avoid future incidents. Here are the basic steps I used with Joe that you might try with your own child:

Define the problem. Talk things over until you understand the exact nature of the problem facing your child. Joe’s problem, of course, was that he felt angry and sad when kids called him names—and couldn’t stop himself from lashing out physically.
Acknowledge bad feelings. Let your child know that it’s normal to be upset by teasing. Joe’s parents and I made sure that he understood that—and that it was not OK for children to pick on him.
Discuss alternative ways to respond. Explain to your child that there are many ways to respond to teasing, some good and some not so good. Shoving the teaser was a bad choice. Joe and I explored better options, including walking away from the encounter and saying “I don’t care” over and over, until the teaser got bored. Ultimately, Joe decided he’d simply say, “Please stop it.” He said that gave him a sense of control over the situation.
Reenact the situation. Once you’ve armed your child with socially acceptable ways to respond, let him play the role of the child being teased while you play the teaser. Then switch roles, varying the “script” to explore the different ways in which the scenario could play out. You might videotape the role-playing sessions and review the tapes at a later time with your child to reinforce appropriate behavior.
Celebrate success. If your child comes home announcing that he has used the lessons learned in role-playing, congratulate him. Give him a high-five, and tell him how proud you are — even if he didn’t do everything you had practiced. This is not the time to nit-pick.
Role-playing didn’t help Joe right away. But one day, a few weeks after we began our sessions, Joe was beaming when he came into my office. Once again, a playmate had teased him, but this time Joe hadn’t struck back. “I told him I didn’t care what he thought,” Joe explained.

Over time, as we continued our sessions, Joe got even better at controlling his behavior on the playground. Other children accepted him as one of the gang, and that made him feel good about himself.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sue Scheff: Learn More About Cyber Safety and your kids


Internet Safety Websites to help educate parents to protect their children from Internet Predators:



For more information on Internet Predators and Teens - Dateline Series - To Catch a Predator. Check your local listings.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Friday, May 2, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Struggling Teens, Defiant Teens, Troubled Teens....



Parent's Universal Resource Experts has found that children that have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) are very confrontational and need to have life their own way. A child does not have to be diagnosed ODD to be defiant. It is a trait that some teens experience through their puberty years.


Defiant teens, disrespectful teens, angry teens and rebellious teens can affect the entire family.An effective way to work with defiant teens is through anger and stress management classes. If you have a local therapist*, ask them if they offer these classes. Most will have them along with support groups and other beneficial classes.


In today's teens we are seeing that defiant teens have taken it to a new level. Especially if your child is also ADD/ADHD, the ODD combination can literally pull a family apart.You will find yourself wondering what you ever did to deserve the way your child is treating you. It is very sad, yet very real. Please know that many families are experiencing this feeling of destruction within their home. Many wonder "why" and unfortunately each child is different with a variety of issues they are dealing with. Once a child is placed into proper treatment, the healing process can begin.


If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Military School or Program Options, please complete our Information Request Form.


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Sue Scheff: Acting White by Connect with Kids





“If you dress too proper, with your shirt tucked in and stuff, they’ll probably say you act too white.”

– student Diijon Dacosta, 20

For many American teenagers, one of the ways to be unpopular in high school is to be an “A” student. In fact, in some schools, doing your homework every day, studying hard and getting good grades has a controversial label. Some call it, “acting white.”


Lindsay, 15, knows the pressure to be cool. “If you’re really smart, they might think of you as a nerd or something,” she says.


Will they say you’re a nerd, a dork, a bookworm …or acting white?


“If you dress too proper, with your shirt tucked in and stuff, they’ll probably say you act too white,” says 20-year-old Diijon Dacosta.


Researchers at Vanderbilt University surveyed 166 middle and high school students from both the inner city and the suburbs. The students said that “acting white” often meant “getting good grades, joining clubs, being a leader.”

Students also talked about “acting black.”

“That would include … not studying, not doing homework, not joining various honor societies or other school projects. I think it is all part of that identity,” says Don Rice, Ph.D., psychologist.

He says that one problem is the culture doesn’t celebrate African Americans who are well educated or well spoken.

“Very seldom does one think of a black kid as being smart or geeky in that sense, and they’re not getting the messages through television, they’re not getting the messages through movies,” says Rice.

Rice adds that the media help set expectations in a child’s mind, and low expectations can lead to low performance.

"They don't really see the opportunities, they don't see how sitting down and learning algebra can lead to something that would be a better life,” explains Rice.

"It's easier to just say forget about it and forget your school work than it is to actually go through with the whole process and do good in school,” says Omyrie, 16.

Still, experts say that inside all children, there is a desire to learn and achieve.

"It’s a matter of finding what it is these kids want out of life and to show them how to get it,” says Rice.

Tips for Parents

“Children can't achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television sets, and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is ‘acting white.’" (Sen. Barack Obama)
“Education starts at home. Teach your children the benefits of a good education -- have them visit college campuses, talk to professionals in your neighborhood, and get involved in clubs and activities at school.” (Don Rice, Ph.D., professor of psychology)

“It’s not measures of popularity or social success that predict achievement in college or the business world, but academic achievement itself that is the best predictor.” (Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist)

“Part of the achievement gap, particularly for gifted black students, is due to the poor image these students have of themselves as learners,” says Donna Ford, professor of special education and Betts Chair of Education and Human Development at Vanderbilt University’s Peabody College, and author of the study on “acting white and acting black.” “Our research shows that prevention and intervention programs that focus on improving students’ achievement ethic and self-image are essential to closing the achievement gap.”

References
Fryer and Torelli, National Bureau of Economic Research: An Empirical Analysis of “Acting White’”
The Century Foundation: Equality and Education
Vanderbilt University’s News Network